Reminiscing with pictures of Yosemite… This is one of my favorites somewhere halfway up the face of cathedral peak in Tuolumne…
Alex Honnold in the new Reel Rock Film Tour… I’m not sure what climb this is but its either Half Dome, El Cap, or mt Watkins… It doesn’t really look like El Cap or Half Dome but I’m not sure…
Snake Dike (5.7 R) on Half Dome
So I know you’ve all been just waiting for us to tell the tale of our famous snake dike assent. Well for starters the hike is beyond brutal especially with 50 pound pack. So we spent a whole day getting to the backpackers camp. Oh guess what? “You need permits to sleep here so I’m going to fine you even though you just got here and were just sitting.” (thats Ranger Dick speaking). “Oh sorry sir were just stupid climbers who don’t know what we’re doing” (stupid climbers) “well since I don’t want to walk you to the bottom I’ll let you stay ONE night. But then climb and leave.” ( Ranger Dick being a lazy prick) “Oh thank you so much sir Ranger sir.” So we stay. Boom… It’s morning so we gear up and head out. “4 liters is plenty right?” ( stupid climber 1) “totally dude-bro!” (stupid climber 2) so we head down the trail and make the grueling hike to the base. “dude-bro where’s the start?” “over here bro-dude” So we spend 2 hours looking and drinking water and finally find it. So 5 hours after starting out we finally gear up to climb. Smooth sailing… Then pitch 3. The infamous dike switch. “dude bro it’s like 50 feet of 5.7 friction traversing till the next dike ( old stupid climber from back when) how many bolts should I place?” “one… Right here by the start” (old stupid climbers partner) So… Back to present day… Pitch 3. Aaron says “hey I always fall at bad times so I’ll take this pitch!” and starts climbing. Don’t worry he makes it to the other dike and is fine… Psych! He slips off it and tumbles 60 feet on steep slabs and grinds to a stop 20 feet below me. Bleeding and shaken your humble writer, jordan, is now unofficially in charge of leading the next 5 pitches. Full of wonderful views, not that I’ll be looking since I’m more concerned about where I’m placing my feet on this 75 foot run out pitch. Followed by another 75 foot runout pitch. Wild climbing indeed. All in all it wasn’t the run outs that killed us it was the fact that when Aaron fell we split a water bottle containing a liter of our water. So by pitch 4 were dry. And by the time we reach the “finish” at pitch 8 were getting woosy. After pitch 8 our guide book just say “class 3 slabs forever” and it wasn’t lying. Near the bottom we rope up since one slip will send you sliding into the abyss but after an hour we just start to slowly climb up unroped. Ages later we summit… And it’s deserted. No one to beg for water. So unlike most who take in the fantastic views from half dime we search under rocks and in cracks for water bottles and find one with a few sips. Soon we give up and set our sights on the cables which are insane. Halfway down we spot a water bottle stuck in a crack out of reach. So I clip into the cables and slide out and grab it. A few more sips to keep us alive. Skip a few boring hours and were back at camp to sick to drink our freshly filled water bottles and too late to pack up for the night. So we say “F you Ranger Dick” and sleep there anyway. So we survived and it was a great story but pretty sucky while it was actually happening. But hey? Aren’t most epics like that?
Thanks for reading
Snake Dike (5.7 R) on Half Dome
So I know you’ve all been just waiting for us to tell the tale of our famous snake dike assent. Well for starters the hike is beyond brutal especially with 50 pound pack. So we spent a whole day getting to the backpackers camp. Oh guess what? “You need permits to sleep here so I’m going to fine you even though you just got here and were just sitting.” (thats Ranger Dick speaking). “Oh sorry sir were just stupid climbers who don’t know what we’re doing” (stupid climbers) “well since I don’t want to walk you to the bottom I’ll let you stay ONE night. But then climb and leave.” ( Ranger Dick being a lazy prick) “Oh thank you so much sir Ranger sir.” So we stay. Boom… It’s morning so we gear up and head out. “4 liters is plenty right?” ( stupid climber 1) “totally dude-bro!” (stupid climber 2) so we head down the trail and make the grueling hike to the base. “dude-bro where’s the start?” “over here bro-dude” So we spend 2 hours looking and drinking water and finally find it. So 5 hours after starting out we finally gear up to climb. Smooth sailing… Then pitch 3. The infamous dike switch. “dude bro it’s like 50 feet of 5.7 friction traversing till the next dike ( old stupid climber from back when) how many bolts should I place?” “one… Right here by the start” (old stupid climbers partner) So… Back to present day… Pitch 3. Aaron says “hey I always fall at bad times so I’ll take this pitch!” and starts climbing. Don’t worry he makes it to the other dike and is fine… Psych! He slips off it and tumbles 60 feet on steep slabs and grinds to a stop 20 feet below me. Bleeding and shaken your humble writer, jordan, is now unofficially in charge of leading the next 5 pitches. Full of wonderful views, not that I’ll be looking since I’m more concerned about where I’m placing my feet on this 75 foot run out pitch. Followed by another 75 foot runout pitch. Wild climbing indeed. All in all it wasn’t the run outs that killed us it was the fact that when Aaron fell we split a water bottle containing a liter of our water. So by pitch 4 were dry. And by the time we reach the “finish” at pitch 8 were getting woosy. After pitch 8 our guide book just say “class 3 slabs forever” and it wasn’t lying. Near the bottom we rope up since one slip will send you sliding into the abyss but after an hour we just start to slowly climb up unroped. Ages later we summit… And it’s deserted. No one to beg for water. So unlike most who take in the fantastic views from half dime we search under rocks and in cracks for water bottles and find one with a few sips. Soon we give up and set our sights on the cables which are insane. Halfway down we spot a water bottle stuck in a crack out of reach. So I clip into the cables and slide out and grab it. A few more sips to keep us alive. Skip a few boring hours and were back at camp to sick to drink our freshly filled water bottles and too late to pack up for the night. So we say “F you Ranger Dick” and sleep there anyway. So we survived and it was a great story but pretty sucky while it was actually happening. But hey? Aren’t most epics like that?
Thanks for reading
Having a blast…
So like most people, I was thinking that the 56 hour bus ride would be miserable but actually I’m having a lot of fun. We’re meeting so many people that have traveled all over the nation this way their whole lives. They have a type of life experience that you don’t see in most people you meet. Guys who jump from city to city just scraping by but doing what they want. There’s this one guy we call “Gold Digger” who’s going to Golden, Colorado to pan for gold. He just wanted to try it so he hopped on a bus and has been with us since Cbus. Of course there’s lots of weird people like “the Scotsman” who has a huge red beard and is wearing a dress. Strange guy but one of the older guys on the bus talked to him and I guess he just was trying to get some clothes and all they had was this skirt thing so he was like sure I’ll take it. Ya still really weird but come on, classic Scotsman. Aaron was unfortunately trapped in a conversation with some crazy woman who kept trying to relate everything to the bible hahaha.
Imagine if we flew out here. Ya sure we’d be in the valley already and we’d be planning our routes but we would have missed all the stories. We wouldn’t be able to talk about “Crazy” who was eating out of the trash and was kicked off our bus and then pooped all over the bus that’s following us. Or “Hollywood” (who looks eerily similar to Dax Shepard) who pulled an extension cord from his bag and asked if he could use the outlet on our seat.
Besides the “cool” people we also get to see the country. Seeing the St. Louis arch, gateway to the west, couldn’t have been a more fitting start to our journey. I’d have no idea that Kansas is the absolute most boring state ever. All I ask for is a tree to stare at or maybe one hill but no, nothing for miles and miles. And we haven’t even gotten to the most interesting part of the trip. So if you’re reading thanks again and stay tuned for more interesting pictures and I’m sure more stories.
